Why
are some people popular and others
neglected? Have you ever asked
yourself that question? At one time, I
thought to have people like you; you
need to be successful, rich and
powerful. With those qualities
everybody wants to be your friend. Life
is simple, just make lots of money and
have lots of things, and people will
like you.
I thought it was
pretty obvious, look at people like
Donald Trump. Doesn’t everybody want to
be his friend? What about Oprah and
other successful people, don’t people
want to be their friends? Everybody
cares about what they think, most people
like them. What is their secret, why do
people like them? I figured it was
because they were successful, that’s why
people like them.
Only later when I
found Jesus Christ did I understand, if
people like you because of your money
and success, then they really only like
what you have. They don’t necessarily
like you, they like what you can offer
them. For this reason scripture, tells
us to be no respecter of persons,
but to look at the heart of the person,
not the outward appearance. Even Samuel
fell into the trap of looking at the
outward appearance when he was told to
anoint the son of Jesse. Because its
part of our fallen nature to be
interested in those who appear
“successful” in the eyes of the world.
God on the other hand looks at our
hearts. God told Samuel to not look at
the outside.
7 But the Lord said to
Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance
or at the height of his stature, because
I have refused him. For the Lord does
not see as man sees; for man looks at
the outward appearance, but the Lord
looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7
Jeremiah clearly illustrates this human
dilemma, how should we view the world
and people? Its very easy to put our
hope in flesh, because we have a fallen
nature. Our fallen nature gravitates to
what the world offers. Yes, we can have
people appear like us for our appearance
and possessions! That is what the world
offers, but do they really like us?
Samuel was told
to not look at the appearance but the
heart. The Lord told Samuel, God at
looks at our hearts. So if God looks at
the heart, what better example do we
need?
We should strive
to have people like us based on our
heart. When we come to Jesus Christ, we
are born again; we are changed on
the inside. The Spirit of God is
dwelling in us, we have a new heart. If
we let the love of God shine through our
lives, people will like us, because of
who we are in Christ, not what we have
materially.
Dale Carnegie in
his book How to Win Friends and
Influence People, list six
principles to make people like you.
Though he does not present this in a
Christian light, he does reveal the
yearning of significance, and how we can
answer it. In the process of letting
the light of Christ shine, people will
like us because of our heart, not what
we possess.
1. Become genuinely interested in other
people
The statement sounds so simple, yet it
is profound. Personally, I thought the
key to getting people to like you, was
to be so interesting, people would want
to like you. What is more interesting
then having great wealth, everybody
would be interested in me then. When I
first read the advice of Carnegie’s
book, I was amazed! Everybody was like
me, they were interested in themselves.
I was no different then anybody else.
My whole goal was to make people
interested in me that was also what
everybody else wanted.
He illustrates
this point in a way most people can
relate too. He tells the story of how
his dog, Tippy, won his heart as a young
boy, by showing a genuine interest. He
writes,
When I was five years old
my father bought a little yellow-haired
pup for fifty cents. He was the light
and joy of my childhood. Every
afternoon about four-thirty, he would
sit in the front yard with his beautiful
eyes staring steadfastly at the path and
as soon he heard my voice or saw me
swinging my dinner pail through the buck
brush, he was off like a shot, racing
breathlessly up the hill to greet me
with leaps of joy and barks of sheer
ecstasy.
Tippy was my constant companion
for five years. Then one tragic night—I
shall never forget it—he was killed
within ten feet of my head, killed by
lighting. Tippy’s death was a tragedy
of my boyhood.
You never read a book on
psychology, Tippy. You didn’t need to.
You knew by some divine instinct you can
make more friends in two months by
becoming genuinely interested in other
people than you can in two years by
trying to get other people interested in
you.
I personally
could relate to his experience, when I
was fifteen, my dog, King, was hit by a
car, I can remember holding the dog
through the night, crying for his
survival. Why did I care so much about
a dog? Because as Dale Carnegie
described it, the dog became my personal
friend, he showed interest in me, he
cared about me.
According to
Carnegie, the New York Telephone made a
survey of 500 telephone calls, and they
found the pronoun “I” was used 3900
times, more then any other word! People
are really interested in themselves, we
are own most interesting topic.
This was an
amazing revelation! I remember reading
this for the first time, thinking how
true, he is describing me, because I
know I am interested in the things which
concern me. I also realized by
understanding myself, I can understand
others, because we are all the same.
When I was in High School, I could
remember becoming the but of jokes,
because I was so persistent in talking
about my nationality, Armenian.
Everybody knew about Armenia, because I
made it my personal crusade to inform
the world. Were people interested in
Armenia? No, there merely thought it
was funny, I thought a country most
people never heard of was so
interesting. Later to my amazement, I
found out most people thought the
country of their origin was even more
interesting. Japanese thought Japan was
interesting, Germans thought Germany was
interesting and Egyptians thought Egypt
was interesting. Wow, I guess I am no
different.
To serve or be served
What can we do
with this principle of human nature?
People want people to be interested in
them, including us. This principle is
an important one for anybody who wants
to serve the Lord. The world is filled
with people who are consumed with
themselves. People who are trying to
find meaning a purpose, thinking if
somebody would only pay attention to
them, they will have meaning.
When we come to
Salvation, through Jesus Christ, we have
received from God an amazing gift. The
gift of salvation, think about what that
means, we are going to be in God’s
presence in Heaven, forever. What does
God want us to with this gift? Should
we keep it to ourselves? No, Jesus
commands us to take this gift, the
gospel, to the nations. We are His
servants, bringing salvation to a lost
world.
By taking a
genuine interest in people, even though
our flesh wants the world to be
interested in us, we can serve the Lord.
Being a minister, means to minister to
others, being interested in others.
Scripture urges us to esteem others more
then ourselves.
3 Let nothing be done
through selfish ambition or conceit, but
in lowliness of mind let each esteem
others better than himself. Philippians 2:3
By showing an
interest in others we are being obedient
to the commands of Christ; remember
Jesus showed an interest in us, while we
were lost. He set the example for us to
follow,
4 Let each of you look out
not only for his own interests, but also
for the interests of others. 5 Let this
mind be in you which was also in Christ
Jesus, 6 who, being in the form of God,
did not consider it robbery to be equal
with God, 7 but made Himself of no
reputation, taking the form of a
bondservant, and coming in the likeness
of men. 8 And being found in appearance
as a man, He humbled Himself and became
obedient to the point of death, even the
death of the cross. 9 Therefore God also
has highly exalted Him and given Him the
name which is above every name, Philippians 2:4-9
Jesus showed a genuine
interest in us by taking human form, the
form of a servant, choosing to die for
us, because he cared about us, He
allowed himself to be humiliated. In
verse 5, we are commanded to have the
same mind with Christ, to think like He
thought. If he was willing to serve why
shouldn’t we? Learning to put others
first, means too temper our excitement
about ourselves, when we are saved we
have riches beyond anything the world
could ever offer.
How to show genuine interest?
Genuine interest
means, real interest not contrived,
insincere interest. If we understand
the value of every soul, knowing each
person is made in the image of God,
everybody has a story they want to
tell. We can learn to appreciate
everybody’s unique story. Ask questions
about a person’s life; learn to find out
their story.
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What nationality are you?
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Why did you choose your profession?
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What hobbies do you have?
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What books do you like to read?
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What do you think about God?
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Have you ever read the Bible?
All of us have sincere interests, try to
find out what interests people?
Sometimes this is hard to do because we
are so used to thinking about what
interests us. The difference between
Jesus and Herod was not only their
identity. It was interest, Jesus was
interested in others Herod was
interested in himself, Herod had his own
family, his wife and sons killed. Herod
is a picture of what the world is,
self-interested and self-consumed, we do
things which benefit us.
Jesus on the other hand instructs us to
be involved in others lives, especially
those who cannot repay us. Living life
from a point of service is a direct
contrast to the ways of the world. When
we live in the flesh, we expect to be
first, we expect to be the center of
attention, we invite people to parties,
who will then invite us to parties.
Everything is from the vantage of
self-interest.
8 "When you are invited by
anyone to a wedding feast, do not sit
down in the best place, lest one more
honorable than you be invited by him; 9
"and he who invited you and him come and
say to you, 'Give place to this man,'
and then you begin with shame to take
the lowest place. 10 "But when you are
invited, go and sit down in the lowest
place, so that when he who invited you
comes he may say to you, 'Friend, go up
higher.' Then you will have glory in the
presence of those who sit at the table
with you. 11 "For whoever exalts himself
will be humbled, and he who humbles
himself will be exalted." 12 Then He
also said to him who invited Him, "When
you give a dinner or a supper, do not
ask your friends, your brothers, your
relatives, nor rich neighbors, lest they
also invite you back, and you be repaid.
13 "But when you give a feast, invite
the poor, the maimed, the lame, the
blind. 14 "And you will be blessed,
because they cannot repay you; for you
shall be repaid at the resurrection of
the just."
Luke 14:8-14
We as servants of
Christ are to approach the world with
humility. We can take a personal
interest in those, who can’t take a
personal interest in us. We should not
expect to be paid back, because its not
about self, we are servants of Christ.
Our mission is to reach a lost world.
However the
dividend of being humble, and putting
others first is exactly what the world
seeks. When we become interested in
others, they become interested in us.
Why? Because, we are giving people what
we all crave, significance. We are
telling them, you matter, I am
interested, and they in turn want to
know about you. When we do this
sincerely, it can have eternal
implications, helping lost people find
the savior.
Sincere
versus insincere
The
principle of being interested in others
is also used by people who are not
sincere. Politicians and salespeople
have a reputation for “not really being
interested”, but only showing interest.
Absalom showed this 3000-year ago, when
he tried to take the kingdom from his
father David, he used feigned interest
to win the heart of the nation.
2 Now Absalom would rise
early and stand beside the way to the
gate. So it was, whenever anyone who had
a lawsuit came to the king for a
decision, that Absalom would call to him
and say, "What city are you from?" And
he would say, "Your servant is from such
and such a tribe of Israel." 3 Then
Absalom would say to him, "Look, your
case is good and right; but there is no
deputy of the king to hear you." 4
Moreover Absalom would say, "Oh, that I
were made judge in the land, and
everyone who has any suit or cause would
come to me; then I would give him
justice." 5 And so it was, whenever
anyone came near to bow down to him,
that he would put out his hand and take
him and kiss him. 6 In this manner
Absalom acted toward all Israel who came
to the king for judgment. So Absalom
stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
2 Samuel 15:2-6
In the end, we
represent the kingdom of God, to a lost
and dying world. When they see us, the
see what we represent. If we come
across phony and insincere, it’s not
hard for people to tell.
2.
Smile
When someone has a sad face, how do you
respond? Are you drawn to the person?
Or does the sad face say, “stay away I
am not happy! “. Are you more or less
likely to approach someone with a sad
face? Well if you are like most people,
you’re inclined to keep distance.
What about a
smile, how do you respond? Of these two
faces, which do you think is
friendlier? In many ways, our faces are
a walking billboard to our emotions;
they let the world know what is
happening on the inside.
Dale Carnegie illustrates
this point with a letter from one of his
students, Mr. Steinhardt, he wrote,
I have been married for over eighteen
years....and in all that time I seldom
smiled at my wife or spoke two words to
her from the time I got up until I was
ready to leave for business. I was one
of the worst grouches who ever walked
down Broadway.
When you asked me
to make a talk about my experiences with
smiles, I thought I would try it for a
week. So the next morning, while
combing my hair, I looked at my glum mug
in the mirror and said to myself, ‘Bill
you are going to wipe the scowl off that
sour puss of yours today. You are going
to smile, and you are going to begin
right now’ As I sat down to breakfast,
I greeted my wife with a ‘Good morning,
my dear,’ and smiled as I said
it. You warned me that she might
be surprised. Well you underestimated
her reaction. Se was bewildered. She was
shocked. I told her that in the future
she could expect this as a regular
occurrence, and I kept it up every
morning. This changed attitude of
mine brought more happiness into our
home in the two months since I started
than there was during the last year.
As I leave for my office, I
greet the elevator operator in the
apartment house with a ‘Good morning’
and a smile. I greet the doorman with a
smile. I smile at the cashier in the
subway booth when I ask for change. As I
stand on the floor of the Stock
Exchange, I smile at people who until
recently never saw me smile.
I soon found that
everybody was smiling back at me. I
treat those who come to me with
complaints or grievances in a cheerful
manner.....I share my office with
another broker. One of his clerks is a
likable young chap, and I was so elated
about the results I was getting that I
told him recently about my new
philosophy of human relations. He then
confessed that when I first came to
share my office with his firm he thought
me a terrible grouch—and only recently
changed his mind. He said I was really
human when I smiled.
Are there reasons to be sad? Sure, and
during those times there is nothing
wrong with expressing the emotion.
However, when we know Christ, we have
every reason to rejoice. We have
treasure beyond anything this world has
to offer, we have no reason to be
anxious.
6 Be anxious for nothing,
but in everything by prayer and
supplication, with thanksgiving, let
your requests be made known to God; 7
and the peace of God, which surpasses
all understanding, will guard your
hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7
A
smile in fact should go along with our
Christian walk, when we really
understand what we have in Jesus Christ,
how we can not smile. We are saved,
saved from the judgment of God, we now
have an eternal inheritance, in Heaven.
Lets rejoice and celebrate, who we are
in Christ, through our smile we can show
the world.
22 But the fruit of the
Spirit is love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, 23 gentleness,
self-control. Against such there is no
law. 24 And those who are Christ's have
crucified the flesh with its passions
and desires. 25 If we live in the
Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-25
The power of smile is
captured in the Value of a Smile at
Christmas
It cost nothing, but
creates much It enriches those who
receive, without impoverishing those who
give, It happens in a flash and the
memory of it sometimes lasts
forever. None are so rich they
can get along without it, and none so
poor but are richer for its benefits.It
creates happiness in the home, fosters
good will in a business, and is the
countersign of friends It is rest to the
weary, daylight to the discouraged,
sunshine to the sad, and Nature’s best
antidote for trouble.Yet it cannot
be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen,
for it is something that is no earthly
good to anybody till it is given
away.And if in the last-minute rush of
Christmas buying some of our salespeople
should be too tired to give you a
smile, may we ask you leave one of
yours?
For nobody needs a smile so much as
those who have none left to give
